Part 6
Parents model, guide, support and participate in their young child’s language production, yet communication is the goal. There are four main types of communication: verbal, non-verbal, written and visual. Babies and toddlers who are learning how to communicate use verbal and non-verbal skills first. It’s a major priority for the young brain. These social connections are powerful!
Verbal communication is sharing sounds, words, phrases and sentences to express thoughts, ideas and feelings. The process of receiving words, trying to understand what is said and respond back in an exchange with people starts early. Parents listen, interpret what is shared, and respond appropriately. It’s the back and forth that takes place that is encouraging a young child to communicate.
Non-verbal communication is sending messages using body language (facial expressions & eye contact) and tone of voice to express ideas, feelings and emotions for a young child. It’s a substantial piece of communication for adults too, and also may include body posture, sign language and physical touch. Since a baby cannot use verbal language to share what they want or need in their early stages of development, non-verbal cues create ways to understand one’s child. Sometimes that’s easier said that done. Through daily observations and interactions, one learns that their child’s repeated non-verbal cues have a specific meaning. As the baby grows into a toddler the combination of using verbal and non-verbal skills are utilized more closely together.
The following three boxes present key elements in a child’s non-verbal communication development. Suggestions for parent interactions are included too. This is intended as a guide only, the timeline is not fixed. Remember each child is unique, and the process of acquiring language and communication skills includes many variables, such as: family interactions, physical development, and life’s experiences.
Non – Verbal Communicators (partial list)
Non-verbal
*Body Language may include the following
Facial expressions:
(infants ) imitates some parent facial expressions—sticks tongue out, Plus–smiles, O shape open-mouth, sucking lips,
(Older babies) frown, laugh, and imitate parent facial expressions
Eye-contact.
(infants) eye gazing begins
(older babies) opens eyes wider, direct eye-contact
Physical Movements
(infants) sucking, grasping,
(older babies) open/closes hands, touches, holds on, kisses, cuddles
Gestures:
(infants) head turns, open hands
(older baby) waving, pointing, clapping, arms reaching up, yawning, shaking head for NO
*Tone of Voice
(Infant) gurgles, smiles at sounds, turns head towards sound of voice
(older baby) hears differences between negative & positive tones, giggles, uses high pitched and other various tones, high and low whining sounds
Non-verbal Parent
*Body Language may include the following
Facial expressions: smile, sad, surprise, raised eyebrows
Eye-contact: face to face eye contact, focused look, active listener
Physical Movements: touching, cuddling, holding, rocking, kissing, hugging, rocking, rubbing, patting, welcoming arms, head tilts
Gestures: nodding, pointing, clapping
*Tone of Voice – (Range of tones-depends on activity) Soothing and calm tones for sleep times.
Parentese—a sing songy style that varies pitch, speed & tones during daily interactions.
Playful voice—laughter, giggling, joyful words of love
Louder tone – may be used when saying words such as “No!” for safety reasons.
Baby Hand signals: (may be learned around 8 months)
(One may choose to add this as a way to help their baby communicate.)
NOTE More detailed information may be found in the
Blog Posts titled TALKING Time Pre-birth to 12 months on this website.
Non-verbal
All of the prior items listed in the first year PLUS the following
*Body Language may include the following:
Facial expressions: smiling, pouting, growling, mad face
Eye-contact: longer eye contact
Physical Movements: pointing, reaching, nodding head, jump up & down, hugging,
Gestures: Small movements – touching, pointing, shaking head
for yes or no, blow a kiss, high 5, thumbs up, fist bump
Bigger body movements – shrugging, kicking,
jumping, dancing, crossed arms=mad or frustrated
*Tone of Voice: shows excitement to frustration, expresses
emotions using different tones (loud tone—tantrums to loving tones),
raises voice when asking question
Non-verbal Parent
All of the prior items listed in the first year PLUS the following
*Body Language may include the following:
Facial expressions: smile, frown, excitement, sadness, surprise
Eye-contact: gaze into eyes, show interest by being at their eye level
Physical touching: cuddling, holding hands, hugging, kissing
Physical Movements: dancing, head tilt, high 5, thumbs up, sit side by side,
Gestures: nodding, pointing, clapping, shh sound with finger to lips
*Tone of Voice: Soothing & calm , assertive & confident , playful tones, supportive tones during temper outburst-acknowledge their emotion, positive tones, praise/happy tones when attempting
something new or completing a task
Non-verbal
All of the prior items listed in the previous years PLUS the following
*Body Language may include the following:
Facial expressions: embarrassment, shame, silly faces, anger-tight lips, confusion-scrunched nose
Eye-contact: extension of time to direct eye contact
Physical Movements arms around neck, tugging, stomping, leans or pulls away
Gestures: Small movements – comforting holds,
Bigger body movements – stomping, pounding
*Tone of Voice: inflections when asking questions, shows excitement to frustration, expresses emotions using different tones (loud—tantrums to loving voice)
Non-verbal Parent
All of the prior items listed in the previous years PLUS the following
*Body Language may include the following:
Facial expressions: join in when their making silly faces,
Eye-contact: bending down when listening,
Physical touching: cuddling, holding hands, hugging, kissing
Physical Movements: relaxed body posture when challenged, use pantomime actions
Gestures.: nodding, pointing, clapping
*Tone of Voice: supportive tone during temper outburst- acknowledge their emotion, positive tones—praise/happiness when attempting something new or completing a task
NOTE: Non-verbal communication develops and progresses as a baby and toddler grows.. There is fluctuation between a child’s age group due to their individuality. The suggested interactions between the child and their parent continue to expand as their non-verbal skills continue to become a key part of their language development.
(Please remember that each box contains a partial list.)
An older baby or toddler may learn non-verbal communication skills by using hand signals as a way to express common ideas. It is a variation of sign language. Easy hand movements/gestures are learned by the child to express frequently used concepts. Take it slowly . Introduce and practice one baby sign at a time. Some of the words signed might be the following: milk, more, eat, drink, water, please, and all done. There are various resources available on the internet and in books that show the best practices for helping your child become successful at this skill. Just remember to enjoy this learning activity together, AND if it turns out to be something that doesn’t work for either of you—no worries. (Check below in the resources and references for further information to view.)
Non-verbal communication is the larger part of a human’s communication, along with tone of voice and actual words spoken. Earlier studies produced a breakdown as follows: 55% non-verbal communication, 38% tone of voice and 7% words. However, current studies are not supporting this completely. Other variables play a role in determining the percentages, for example—environment, situations, who is involved etc. The main idea remains the same, that non-verbal communication is the larger part of the three aspects.. For a very young child. non-verbal skills develop first, later a toddlers’ verbal skills become intertwined with their non-verbal skills once speech production starts.
Yes, non-verbal communication is a huge part of their life and YOURS. Just try sitting on your hands while keeping your face expressionless during a face-to-face conversation with someone about anything. It’s just so hard to do!
Happy days to you,
Kylene
“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.”
Peter Drucker, author
Eltzoff, Andrew, (2018), A ’touching sight’: How babies’ brains process touch builds foundations for learning, University of Washington NEWS, https://www.washington.edu/news/2018/01/16/a-touching-sight-how-babies-brains-process-touch-builds-foundations-for-learning/
Golin-Meadow, Susan, ( 2010), How gesture promotes learning throughout childhood, National Library of Science, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2835356/
Nikoli’c, Milica, Brummelman, Eddie, Orobio de Castro, Bram, Jorgensen, Terrence D., & Colonnesi , Cristina, (2023), Parental socialization of guilt and shame in early childhood, https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-023-38502-1#:~:text=
Salo, Virginia C., Rowe, Meredith L., Reeb-Rowe, (2018), Exploring Infant Gesture and Joint Attention as Related Constructs and as Predictors of Later Language National Library of Medicine,
NIH National Library of Medicine, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5927593/
Sherred, Leanne, (2024),Guide to baby sign language: 10 simple signs to get you started, Expressable Speech Therapy, https://youtu.be/TFDp8d6UQFs?si=mUZ-O87YGjXdsShS
Thompson, Jeff, Ph. D., ( 2011), Is Nonverbal Communication a Numbers Game?, Psychology Today, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beyond-words/201109/is-nonverbal-communication-a-numbers-game
Willard, Dr. Marey, (2024), Eye Contact in Childhood, https://marcywillardphd.com/eye-contact-in-childhood/
